Saturday, February 25, 2012

All apologies...

Disclaimer: don’t freak and think me all gloomy doomy, I’m just linking up to Eden’s meme – a very cathartic “all apologies” post…
Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

I’m sorry I feel too deeply and cry too easily

I’m sorry my patience isn’t what it should be

I’m sorry that try as I might, I cannot always keep everyone happy

I’m sorry I’m going to have to boycott all media this weekend while this so called free country decides who is going to lead us and I’m sorry I actually though we, the people, got to choose this.

I’m sorry I’m going to miss my husband so much when his crazy work season kicks off this week

I'm sorry he wont be here for dinner Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday next week and sorry that the drama that is cleaning my son's teeth (apparently the worst thing that you can do to him) will be left to me.

I’m sorry I’m going to have to pick up the pieces of my son’s broken heart every time he asks for his Daddy and I’m sorry I’m not my son’s number one choice for company

I’m sorry my husband has to work so hard to provide for us and I’m sorry I can’t contribute more to the household budget

I’m sorry I have to scrape the last shards of margarine out of the container because I don’t want to waste a thing

I’m sorry that death can bring so much stress and I am sorry my Dad has to go through so much pain fighting for what he believes in

I’m sorry I wasn’t here to say goodbye to you Adam

I’m sorry I haven't renewed my passport and I’m more sorry knowing I won’t be needing it anytime again soon

I’m sorry my son doesn’t grasp the concept of happily playing by himself and sorry that I go out of my mind with boredom driving cars around all day with him

I’m sorry it's taken so long to get over childbirth and sorry I didn’t automatically become the mother I’d always imagined I’d be

I’m sorry I’m not a morning person and sorry for being so cranky when my son gets me up before 6am

I’m sorry I’m a perfectionist and a procrastinator all rolled into one, and sorry I don’t start when I am scared to fail

I’m sorry I don’t like sweat – and ergo exercise and sorry its so damn good for me

I’m sorry I work myself into a frenzy when I know I have visitors coming, so that they’ll think I always live so cleanly

I'm sorry I'm at the mercy of my guilt complex and for caring too much what people may think

I’m sorry if I let anyone down by not being all that I could be

I’m sorry I write too much (clearly)


BUT in the interest of trying to keep my karmic balance in check with the universe:

I’m NOT sorry I have married the man who is my soul mate

I’m NOT sorry I have the most beautiful blue eyed child who is as clever as he is cheeky

I’m NOT sorry I have the most amazing family & friends who I cherish

I’m NOT sorry I have travelled far and wide in this wonderful world and not sorry I’ve learned my share of character building lessons along the way

I'm NOT sorry I've seen some of my wildest dreams come true the last few years (hello Oprah!)
And I’m NOT sorry that my best is yet to come.

9 comments:

Madam Bipolar said...

"I’m going to have to boycott all media this weekend while this so called free country decides who is going to lead us and I’m sorry I actually though we, the people, got to choose this."
Bloody inspired. We are not that free are we. It took you to point it out to me. Thank you.
I am so sorry you are going to miss your husband. I totally relate with my hubby in Perth so often we have the tooth brush drama.
You are a good egg, D. xx

Lydia La La said...

Good to have another boycotter in the country. Boring bullshit!

Lyndal said...

this was very cathartic wasn't it :) love that you balanced it out at the end

Ames said...

So many sorry's are ones that I feel too; damn teeth cleaning, not needing or having a passport, husbands/partners being away, not being a morning person and more.
I'm not sorry that you are so obviously awesome.
xxx

Kel said...

Ugh, politics- if they would just introduce a policy that good old 'budgie smuggler' Abbott can never be PM, then we'd be on the right track.
And kidlet drama when parenting solo, sucks!! I hope hubby is back on board soon :)

Jayne said...

Perfectionist, procrastinator and afraid to fail. Yep.

Loved this post, Donna.

edenland said...

Donna I love what you wrote. Love how you were writing about margarine one second, then death the next. That's life.

Thank you so much for linking up XXX

(PS Getting my youngest to brush his teeth is pure torture for me.)

sarah braaksma said...

Glad its not just me who has tortured scream every night at teeth brushing time... sigh

definately love " my best is yet to come!" awesome x

Maxabella said...

In general, I'm mostly sorry that I'm not sorry for most of it. It is what it is, we're doing our best (most if the time and the times we're not we are resting from the burden of doing our best). I say, fuck it, don't be sorry, be aware but not sorry.

You're a good egg, Donna. x