Monday, October 19, 2009

Playing Favourites

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a child, in possession of two loving parents, should show equal affection to both it’s Mummy or Daddy. An unspoken rule that permeates all families – parents thou shalt not play favourites with their offspring and at all time remain impartial… Well, I am wondering if this undeclared law also applies to a child, when he views his Ma & Pa? I only raise the argument because it is I who appears to be on the unfavourable end of my child’s affections. Perhaps it’s that I have raised him to be so well adjusted when it comes to him Mummy, or perhaps Daddy truly is a more perfectly packaged parent than I? Whatever the case, I cant help but get the distinct feeling I am further down the popularity ladder than I’d like to think. Most working mothers will attest to tears at the time when they farewell their child on the way out the door. Not in my house. Oh no. Instead, Harrison sees fit to utter a rather blasé “buh-bye” just as I reach over the swoop my handbag on to my shoulder. Yet his father, upon doing anything that resembles making an approach towards the vicinity of the front door, unleashes a torrent of tears and inconsolable sobs, apparently utterly distraught at the thought of his Daddy departing for the day. He might merely be taking the rubbish out and be back in 5 minutes, but that does not appease my son, oh no. Letting loose with a sob that would crack the veneer of a heart of stone, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was the last time he was going see his father for a month! It then begs the question: have we been pigeonholed? Am I the authoritarian and Daddy the fun loving parent? Does he represent tickles, giggles, rowdy rumbles and crazy “chasies”? Do I simply symbolise strictness and suitably boring activities as, oh, I don’t know, eating, sleeping and being dragged to the shops in the pram? Or is it because I chose to go back to the (paid) working world? Perhaps this is my son’s way of punishing me for sending him to day-care???
I am convinced I need an image overhaul. As such, the husband has suggested I spend one of my days off as a specific “fun-day” – no chores to take my undivided attention away from my son. Perhaps that way I will once ore worm my way back into his good books!


teedee2 said...

Haven't caught up on the "Daze" for a bit D. so was great to read back through the highlights.
Don't panic - you know what they say on CSI and Criminal Minds - it's always "the mothers" to blame for the child's strange behaviour - so you won't be Robinson Crusoe. The plus is later down the track most boys will confide their incredible secrets with their Mum (especially about girlfriends) and Dad will probably miss that stuff because they'll think it's too girlie to bring up with him.
Mums and Dads play good cop / bad cop all the time - the tough bit is being consistent when he learns "who to play against who" to get his way.
Like you said, there's tons of advice out there but nothing beats your own gut instinct for making decisions about "your" child and the way he's brought up in "your" family - to reflect your families morals, standards and beliefs, that will enable him to make the correct choice when he becomes an adult and decides for himself.
Now it's sounding very philosophic, so I'll quit my soapbox. Great reading your thoughts! Sometimes just getting those thoughts into words on the PC can be very therapuetic!